'Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.’ - Eleanor Roosevelt
Spending time with people that bring joy and happiness into your life contributes massively to your wellbeing, providing you with confidence, encouragement and boosting the good health hormones, Dopamine and Serotonin.
On the flip side spending time with people who bring you pain and negativity can cause your wellbeing to deteriorate. The stress that comes from constant moaning and belittling comments (or lack of any positive comments) from friends who are jealous of your success can cause a feeling of shame and a reduced self worth, leading to increased production of the stress hormone Cortisol and maybe even Anxiety and Depression.
Who do you spend your time with?
Jim Rohn says that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. That can be quite an unsettling thought when you look around and realise who you spend your time with at work, in your family and your friendship group.
Really look around at your crowd right now and get a feel for the people that make your heart sing and those that feel like a negative heaviness when they are around. We really should take more care to choose these people- do you think that if you realised that you would end up becoming these people, you would have chosen them much more carefully?
It’s time to be more selective about the people you allow to take up your space and time.
Friends come and go throughout your life
Many of us have friendships that go way back with people from our childhood, from school or from an old job. There are those that stick around and really understand you - but you may also experience those moments when you realise that a person who you have known for a really long time doesn’t really know you at all - not who you are right now - not the person you have become over time.
We all change and you can have friends that are great with how you change and friends that don’t like that you aren’t the exact same person you were 20 years ago. We make friends and we lose friends and that’s all part of the natural process of growth in life.
The naysayers and the go-getters
Also known as the ‘The Drains and The Radiators’. We all know someone who is a drain. Sometimes you don’t realise until one day you are sitting across from them at a table and they are talking away negatively about something again, and in your mind you think ‘my god, this person is the hardest person to spend time with. They do not make me feel good.’
It’s time to get rid of those drains in your life. And if you can’t (let’s not forget those family members and work colleagues) try really hard to have your bubble of peace around you when you are in their presence and try and bring some positivity into conversations.
We also know radiators - those lovely positive rays of sunshine who always make us smile - they aren’t perfect, but you know they are go getters and strong believers in positive conversation and outlook. Get more radiators into your life.
You can test what you are to other people by listening to your words when around others. Do you moan a lot? Or are you a positive person to be around?
Eleanor Roosevelt once said ‘Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.’
Like minded people come into your life
As you journey through life and find the right path towards what you want in your heart, you meet the most wonderful people - the people that understand you for being you, someone who you can be truly yourself around and listens intently to all your crazy ideas with encouragement and compassion.
Those people are diamonds to be around and constantly help you sparkle. When you are openly exploring new challenges or new ideas, these people pop into your life to help you grow into a new area and are there with you ready to explore with kindness and openness. You feel instantly connected to these like-minded people.
If you start to flow more into an area of interest, such as wellbeing, meditation, mindfulness, these types of people will find you. It really is an amazing experience to meet someone that doesn’t judge and criticise you for being your authentic self.
Look for experiences to join groups, to chat openly, attend events and get to know the like-minded community of people that are waiting for someone like you to come along. There are groups everywhere and there are meet ups, classes and retreats to explore.
Be authentically you. Stay happy and stay healthy.
Being authentically you is the most powerful feeling of confidence and wellbeing. It’s so healthy to express who you are and be inexcusably you.
Henry David Thoreau once said ‘We are constantly invited to be who we are’. Take the invitation and don’t apologise for it. We are all individuals with our own personal paths to follow which can be helped along by being around the right people.
Don’t let negativity and put downs steer you off path leading you to unhappiness. Join the crowd that feels good for you and helps you learn and grow with every experience.
Anchors of Relaxation - Knutsford, UK - Limited Dates in April-May.